


Heal

by theguybelowmesucks



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Gore, Nothing too explicit, Panic Attacks, Vomiting, i saw a post on twitter and ran away with it so thank you for letting me write and post this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 12:17:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18365849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theguybelowmesucks/pseuds/theguybelowmesucks
Summary: For a boy so reckless in battle, Sora would easily accumulate wounds that no longer healed due to his overuse of Cure magic. Potion use is demonized due to its alluring but painful side effects and easy addiction. When Sora receives a heavy wound in battle and has to wait for his MP to slowly recharge, he has no choice but to use a potion to heal himself. It was a mistake.





	Heal

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a post from @sorabuttpockets on Twitter, where overuse of Cure magic leads to wounds that don’t completely heal and overuse of potions lead to addiction.

A potion.

 

One single potion was all it took.

 

Sora knew of the consequences. He only ever used healing magic in battle, but he was desperate as his MP recharged and he knew he wouldn’t make it if he waited just a second longer judging by the searing pain he felt in his arm. He groaned and reached into his pocket for the single potion that he carried on him at all times in cases like this.

 

His heart pounded. He was terrified and felt an edge of anxiety. He knew he had to be confident, however. Most importantly, he knew he needed to stay true to himself. Potions were no laughing matter, a force not to be reckoned with, and here he is ready to plunge himself into a sort of Hell that might take days or months to drag himself out. What kind of world did he have to live in where something meant to heal also maimed one’s mental fortitude to the point that they become dependent on it? It was sickening.

 

He shook his head and took a deep breath. No qualms. He needed to do it or he would die. He had so many reasons to live for, so many friends, _Riku_ , and he knew that they would be there for him if something happened. It was just one potion, what would be the harm? He can’t get addicted by just one potion, he thought. He knew better.

 

He pushed the lid off with his thumb and chugged the potion in one go. He felt the dense, green liquid slither down his throat. It had a dangerously sweet taste. It was at this moment he realized that he only knew little about potions other than what he had heard from Riku and that they were extremely bad. Fear surged up in him once more, but it was too late.

 

He had swallowed every single drop, already feeling the effects taking over. His entire body tensed up with pain and he accidentally dropped the glass bottle due to his arm locking up. He watched as it shattered on impact with the ground and gritted his teeth. He felt a cold sweat envelop seconds later. He screwed his eyes shut and hugged his legs to his body while the potion did its ‘magic’, although it was causing more pain rather than the help that he sought out.

 

He genuinely thought he was dying. That pain was, by far, the worst pain he had ever felt in his entire life. It lasted for only a couple minutes, but it felt like forever had passed by. But, all of a sudden, he felt something snap within him. His demeanor changed entirely. His mind felt a little foggy, but he felt great otherwise.

 

“Wow…” Sora muttered in amazement once he felt the pain subside, quickly replaced with a feeling of euphoria. Nobody told him about this part.

 

Cure and its stronger variants were always the least dangerous out of the two options and often was the form that others would prefer to use. It was easier deal with the remnants of their misfortune in order to lead a relatively normal life. Few dared to lay a finger on a potion, Gods forbid look at one. Curiosity led to temptation, and temptation led to addiction.

 

Of course, once a user used Cure one too many times, they start to become immune to its effects which then caused wounds to ineffectively heal.  They would heal less and less each time, so what once used to take one spell, took two. What took two, would now take three. Three would lead to the eventual necessity of Cura, the second strongest tier of healing magic, and everything was right in the world again. Overuse of Cura led to Curaga, the strongest healing spell, but that was it. Once one became immune to that, it would do the bare minimum and all they would have left are bruises from the pockets of half-healed wounds, raised scars that ached at every touch, and a constant, dull pain that scaled up with the amount of wounds afflicted.

 

Even though healing magic was healthier, it left long-term damage that would be irreversible unless the user can lower their tolerance. Immunity, in the case of healing magic, wasn’t always permanent. But for one who had to work like Sora and his friends did, it was extremely easy to haphazardly toss cure magic everywhere as if it was candy.

 

The only difference between Sora and his friends is the fact that a veteran like him only became more careless now that he was a Master. This, unfortunately, was a trait exclusive to Sora. His friends knew how to strategize but alone, he didn’t follow a plan. He followed his heart.

 

Sora just went in, straight on, always reckless in battle. This wasn’t a new development over the years; it was something he was good at from the get-go. It wasn’t that he was overconfident in his skills, he just didn’t know how to watch out for himself. He fought with no logic, fueled often by rage and the intense need to help his friends. So of course he suffered greatly, and his irresponsibility led to his misuse of healing magic. It didn’t help that his MP often took long to recharge, so he ultimately decided that he was left with no choice. That was his justification.

 

He was good. Everything would be okay. He took a deep breath and, fortunately, felt as if nothing had even happened. The open, gushing wound that used to be on his forearm was now gone, the dull ache in his back from a previous fall was now tingling, and he could feel the open pockets of various old wounds suddenly filling in. The scars that littered his body were replaced with smooth, creamy, healthy tissue. The pressure of it was a little uncomfortable but refreshing nonetheless. All his aches and pains were nonexistent and, for once, he felt relief.

 

The battle was a piece of cake and he had nothing to fear.

 

He caught up with Riku, first.

 

“Did you see that?” Sora excitedly asked. “It was scary there for a second, but did you see me kick all their butts?” He shook Riku’s arm to get his attention.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Riku responded with a chuckle. “What do you mean, scary?”

 

“Oh,” Sora let go and shrugged, “my MP was still recharging and I had some pretty heavy wounds, so I couldn’t heal. I thought I was gonna bleed out or something.”

 

Riku stopped walking. He turned around to face Sora, confusion and worry forming on his face. “Well…what did you do?”

 

“I had to use a potion.”

 

Riku pursed his lips. “You know what I told you—“

 

“I know, I know. But really, did you want me to die, or just take one measly little potion and save myself?” Sora crossed his arms across his chest and frowned. “I was really terrified, Riku, and I didn’t know what else to do—“

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Riku apologized and ran a shaky hand through his hair, “I just worry about you. You just have an addictive personality so I just don’t want you to throw yourself into a dark, deep well like that. One ‘measly’ potion is all it takes.”

 

“Psh,” Sora snorted, ignoring the last comment, “I have an addictive personality?”

 

“Y-yeah!” Riku sputtered. “Remember that one time you stayed at my house and I gave you a drink of my soda because your parents wouldn’t let you drink it?” Riku’s face grew softer as he recalled. “You had THREE sodas that night. Three! And then you snuck out of your house a couple of times since then just to ‘borrow’ a soda from me, and you could never repay me back.”

 

Sora and Riku both laughed together. “I’m surprised you remember that,” Sora said as soon as he caught his breath. “We were like, what, 6?”

 

“Yeah,” Riku sighed, “that was so long ago.” He smiled fondly at Sora but frowned immediately once he remembered the context of the story. “But, really, see? It’s little things like that, that make me worry about you. I know I’ve told you before, but potion addiction is serious. It’ll give you really nasty side effects and it’s hard to kick.”

 

“How do you know this, Riku?” Sora asked, but his heart sunk when he saw the pained expression on Riku’s face. How could he know?

 

Riku scratched his arm awkwardly and averted his eyes. Sora had a feeling this would be hard for him to talk about. Obviously, with his reaction, Sora could only assume that Riku had been addicted before. The only time he could think of this taking place was when he was working with Ansem, considering that he didn’t know any healing magic at the time. “…Forget I asked that,” Sora muttered and grabbed Riku’s arm to pull him along. “Let’s go meet up with the others.”

 

Riku took a deep breath but kept the frown. “Sora—“

 

“Really, Riku, I’ll be okay. I promise, I won’t let myself get stuck on that stuff.” Sora reassured Riku while rubbing circles into his arm. “I may be easy, but I’ve got a strong mind. You know that better than anyone else.”

 

Riku hesitated, but after a few seconds, he gave a short nod. “All right. I’ll take your word for it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Addiction hurt.

 

That interaction was just a week ago. A harmless interaction, but seemingly promising. Riku took his word, accepted Sora’s decision based on the notion that he had the strength and hardiness that he asserted. And Riku wholeheartedly believed him, believed IN him, because he was his best friend and boyfriend. Sora was never put down by anything and always kept his promises, even if it seemed impossible.

 

What hurt even more was to see his boyfriend spiral down that dark path, only able to watch from the sidelines. It was Sora’s battle, not his own, but he could only be there for support. He had to constantly remind himself that his support was Sora’s best asset at this point, something that he could not live without when addiction took control. That was what Riku needed during that desperate time of his as a Seeker of Darkness. That’s what he needed to give.

 

Sora didn’t notice he had a problem. After this incident, he went to the Moogle Shop to replenish the potion. He couldn’t be too sure when he would need it again, and it definitely saved his life. He kept it in the satchel attached to his hip.

 

He still felt like he was on Cloud 9. He couldn’t tell Riku that. He figured it was a side effect of the potion considering that he never felt so euphoric in his entire life, and he’s used healing magic enough to know that this wasn’t a normal side effect. There was something about that potion that made Sora reel. That relief he felt earlier still bombarded his senses and it was all he could think about. Maybe it was his naivety that made him question it, but how could something so bad make someone feel so good?

 

He was thinking too much. Sora sighed and continued on his way back to Destiny Islands. He needed to go home, see his friends, clear up his mind, and tomorrow would be a new day. He would just remind himself to be careful in battle from now on, that way he wouldn’t be stuck in that position ever again.

 

* * *

 

 

The second time Sora used a potion was not out of his own recklessness, but because of his own curiosity. The urge was overwhelming, and he needed to satiate that temptation otherwise he could never focus.

 

He purposefully let himself get hurt in battle so he could use it as an excuse.

 

He took cover behind a rock and sunk to the ground. The pain was overwhelming. “If I’m gonna do this again, I need to make sure I let myself get hit somewhere less…deadly,” he grumbled as he took a look at the open wound on his stomach. It wasn’t too deep, but it definitely freaked him out nonetheless. “Maybe…my arm again, or something,” he managed to gasp out as he pulled the potion out of his satchel, popped the lid and, without a moment’s hesitation, downed the whole bottle in almost record time.

 

There it was, again. The silky smooth yet heavy texture of the liquid made its way down his throat, and the pain doubled in intensity. He couldn’t help but scream and clutch at his stomach in hopes that the pressure would make the pain go away, but it didn’t. He just had to wait for a few seconds, let the pain take its toll, and then he would be okay.

 

_It hurts. It hurts, it hurts, hurts, hurtshurtshurts—_

 

It was a chant that repeated itself in his head, over and over again. Submitting himself to this pain just for the pure comfort he received afterwards was just…stupid. So stupid! Why did he let himself do this? How could he do this to himself? Maybe the wound was deeper than he thought and the potion wasn’t enough to handle it. Hi-potions are effective for severe wounds, so maybe he needed to carry one of those on his person as well. If he just let himself get hit with a fatal attack…

 

But, he couldn’t finish that thought. That same intense feeling of euphoria washed over him once again, and any sort of coherent thought he had prior was no longer. He shivered and let himself relax against the rock. A comfortable warmth spread throughout his body and he felt at peace again. He shut his eyes and reveled in his satisfaction.

 

He lost track of time as he spaced out. The potion’s effects seemed stronger somehow. He wondered if it was because of the lack of old wounds so it was stronger this time around.  Since he only has had this fatal wound on his stomach, the potion only had to work on that singular wound and then the rest had to go…somewhere?

 

Sora needed to get up. He gained his composure with a satisfied sigh and took a glance down to make sure the wound healed. It seemed he was never injured in the first place.

 

He finished off the heartless that he was battling.

 

This time he wouldn’t tell Riku (or anyone else, for that matter) what had transpired just now. This was something he would keep to himself because Riku absolutely would make a big deal out of it, and Sora didn’t want him to worry. He had a handle on himself. He wouldn’t let this happen again. He learned from his mistake.

 

After all, it was just genuine curiosity. This second incident was only to reconfirm what he felt the first time since he didn’t really get a chance to comprehend in such a dire situation.

 

* * *

 

 

The third time Sora used a potion was outside of battle; in his own home, when Riku was away with King Mickey.

 

After replenishing his stock at the Moogle Shop a day later after the second incident, he had returned home because he had nothing else to do that day. His jobs were done, but he was bored at home without Riku around.

 

And he thought. He thought about the first time, and then he thought about the second time. He remembered the intense pain that he experienced before the pure elation that followed. It seemed that the potion worked in different ways depending on how worse for wear one was at the time of consumption. Given that most of his body was old wounds before, the potion had to work harder. The second time, the potion had to work less and only had one major wound to heal.

 

What would happen if he took a potion when he was perfectly healthy?

 

Would there still be that immense pain or would it totally skip that and give him the high he sought out?

 

Sora shook his head. He just referred to its effects as a ‘high’. There was no way he could do this, because then that would mean he acknowledged it as a problem.

 

He didn’t have a problem.

 

He eyed the satchel over on his kitchen counter. It was tempting. It was a mistake to pick it up from the shop.

 

He leaned forward on his couch and held his head in his hands. He scratched his head furiously. What was he thinking? He made a promise with Riku that he wouldn’t let potions get the best of him, yet here he was, debating on taking a potion without any rhyme or reason. That’s how you become addicted, he thought. That’s how you lose the battle.

 

But Riku wasn’t home, he also thought. Riku isn’t here to comfort him and keep his mind off of things like he was so good at doing. He was here alone, strictly with his own thoughts, and so if something happened it was because he had nothing else better to do.

 

After all, it was just genuine curiosity in the end. This third incident was an experiment, more or less, and he would take careful note of what happens so he wouldn’t let it happen again.

 

He got up from the couch and walked over to the satchel, carefully taking out the glass bottle. Sora remembered the sweet taste on his tongue, the warmth of his body, the pure bliss that he felt…and that’s what pushed him over the edge. He drank the bottle in its entirety and quickly set it on the counter so he wouldn’t drop it like he did the first two times.

 

And, as he expected, there was no pain that came from the initial taste. It skipped straight to the high. His legs felt like jelly and his skin tingled with goosebumps. His head swam with jumbled thoughts, most didn’t even make sense. The quick reaction that followed after drinking a potion was unnerving.

 

He carefully made his way back to the couch and plopped down onto his back. He stared listlessly at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes. He took out his phone with every intention to scroll through social media but noticed in the black screen that his features looked off. He turned on the camera instead, noticing that his pupils were blown out. It was hard to tell with the lighting of the room but his skin had some sort of pale color to it, definitely lighter than usual.

 

He knew Riku would be gone for a while, but he panicked on the thought of him coming home early. What would he do? Admit that he had just taken a potion or fake being sick? Maybe he could do the latter. His heart raced. He felt a cold sweat and a lingering fear overtake him. He was having a panic attack. This was unusual compared to the first two times.

 

His breaths came heavy and it felt like he was being crushed. He had to sit up to catch his breath, but it didn’t help. His eyes were no longer half-lidded and were instead wide with fear. What if he was dying? Is that what happened when you took a potion for no reason? He was perfectly relaxed before, but then his thoughts evoked this panic that he couldn’t stop.

 

He glanced at the potion bottle that he left on the counter. That was evidence.

 

He quickly got up but had to sit right back down because the room was spinning. Maybe he took too much at once? Was that it? Maybe he should have drunk half of the potion.

 

He got back up once more and made a quick stride to the counter, his sweaty hands clasping on the edge to keep himself up and to keep ground, and he grabbed the bottle. This was the last time for sure, he thought. He indulged on his curiosity and he found out what he needed to know. He pretended to ignore his thoughts about rationing the potion to half of a bottle. He slowly made his way to the garbage can and tossed the bottle away, making sure it was hidden by the garbage on top, and he washed his hands.

 

* * *

 

 

All of the incidents from here on out were purely out of recreational intention.

 

Sora noticed he had a problem when he continued to have cravings for even a single drop of potion. He slowly noticed the signs of withdrawal that made him feel awful for hours on end, so he started off by making sure that he always had some of a potion in his system at all times. The less he drank at a time made it easier to hide the resulting side effects like the pale skin. He found himself interacting with everybody while drunk on life.

 

At some point, he started to think about everyone else when he partook. He started to think about Donald and Goofy, Kairi, Roxas, Lea, Xion, Ventus, Aqua, and Terra, even Isa, Hayner, Pence, and Olette…King Mickey…

 

And Riku.

 

And he got scared. He knew there was something wrong.

 

So he told himself to quit it, and he tried. He couldn’t.

 

Day two, he woke up and said he would quit. He didn’t.

 

Day three, he woke up and immediately left for ‘work’. He bought a potion and drank it. He felt guilty, so he threw the rest of the contents away and devoted his free time to other things so he wouldn’t think about it.

 

Day four, he abstained from taking a potion. This was when the shakiness began, about halfway through the day. It wasn’t as bad as Sora thought it would be, but he did catch himself almost going to the Moogle Shop to ‘restock his supplies’.

 

Day five, the cold sweat began. He woke up completely drenched in sweat. Riku still slept peacefully beside him as Sora got up uncharacteristically early to shower himself off and change his pillow sheet. Later on that same day, his skin was paler than ever. It was as if he had taken double the amount of potions he would drink, and he was sure that Riku would comment on this. He resorted to lying in bed for the rest of the day while Riku would check up on him and give him all the care in the world. Riku was too good for him, and Sora felt like he didn’t deserve him.

 

Day six, he woke up feeling nauseous. This was perhaps the worst he has felt in his entire life. He got up out of bed and refused to let himself vomit as he made his way to the Moogle Shop to buy a potion. He almost drank it right then and there, but when he got home, he sat in the Gummi Ship to collect his thoughts. He kept the potion in the satchel and vomited on the way out of the ship. He couldn’t keep anything down.

 

It was at this point that he realized that this was all his own fault and he deserved it for how he acted.

 

* * *

 

 

Riku noticed it became a problem when he woke up to the sound of retching in their bathroom. At first, he assumed that Sora just ate something bad because this event was not unusual in the slightest. Reckless Sora would eat something bad at least once a month despite Riku’s berating, so waking up to vomiting was usually not a cause for concern.

 

It was when he woke up to Sora vomiting the second day in a row that he started to worry. It gnawed at the edge of his brain, filling him with anxiety and the fleeting notion that maybe he had succumbed to the disease of addiction. Maybe it was a fluke, because it was only the second day after all. It could have been a nasty case of food poisoning this time around, but Sora could usually clear it in one day. He decided not to question Sora and give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

The third day was the last straw. As he pulled himself out from the depths of sleep when Sora ran out of bed, he quickly shot up. He watched as Sora stumbled into the bathroom, clutching his stomach with one hand and covering his mouth with the other. Riku took notice of the sweat that caked messy hair to his forehead. Given the warm weather here on Destiny Islands, it may not have been unusual, but it was a side effect of addiction. The stumbling was likely due to dizziness and just general grogginess.

 

Riku winced as he heard Sora gag and then painfully spill the contents of his stomach into the toilet. A cough, a sputter, and then another heave. To say it was awful to hear was an understatement. It was heart wrenching and it made Riku feel sick to his own stomach.

 

There was silence. Riku listened for movement but jumped when he heard glass shatter. He quickly leapt up from the bed and ran into the bathroom.

 

Sora had drank an entire potion. Riku hadn’t even noticed Sora grab his satchel in his mad dash to the bathroom. He watched Sora’s eyes glaze over instantly. Some of the potion had dribbled down his chin. The major known benefit of potions is its quick activation, so even though Sora had to throw up a third time, it was already working to make Sora feel better. Riku grimaced at the wafting smell but refrained from covering his nose out of respect.

 

He watched as bright green vomit spilled from the underside of the toilet. Sora had almost missed the bowl due to the listlessness that he now exhibited as a result of consumption. Here was this boy that Riku had known since they were practically babies, losing himself as he vomited his life down the toilet.

 

He was pale and shaky. Ironically, he looked like pure and utter death. Miserable, ashamed, and disappointed. Never had Riku seen Sora look so dejected in his entire life. Sora was the definition of pure happiness and to see him in such a vulnerable state was so tragic.

 

Suddenly, Riku felt like he couldn’t breathe. Sora didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve any of this. He clenched his right hand into a fist, instincts kicked in, and he knew he had to do something. He stepped over the broken glass and collapsed to his knees next to Sora.

 

He turned to Riku with watery eyes from the tears that he desperately clung onto. When he noticed the look of despair on Riku’s usually serene face, he whimpered and turned back to the toilet, resting his arms on the bowl and his head drooped.

 

“Riku…” Sora’s voice cracked in a broken sob. His voice was hoarse. Riku gasped and also let out a broken cry in response. “I couldn’t keep my promise,” Sora continued with a low mutter. His body started to shudder as he cried. “I’m sorry. You had every right to worry about me, and I just pushed it away because I had way too much pride.  I’m sorry,” Sora apologized again and finally let himself go.

 

“No, Sora—“ Riku choked out, “ _I’m_ sorry for not keeping a closer eye on you. I failed you, and—“ Riku was cut off by a groan from Sora—“look at you. This shouldn’t be happening. You’re a mess.”

 

The two sat together, on that cold bathroom tile, as Riku held onto Sora. Only his sobs and hiccups could be heard along with the slight whimpers that Riku let out in an effort to keep himself together. He needed to stay strong for Sora. To be honest, he wasn’t sure where to begin. He hadn’t thought this far ahead. This was something he never took account of, so walking someone else out of this particular darkness was overwhelming compared to when he had to walk himself out, alone.

 

Eventually, Sora had stopped sobbing and turned to face Riku once more. His lips quivered and his cheeks were tear-stained. The corner of his eyes were red from his fingers constantly wiping away tears, but his face was still deathly pale. It was almost as if he was actually dead, somehow, and Riku felt like his face would be cold to the touch as well. Regardless, he couldn’t help but lift his hands up to cup Sora’s cheeks. Maybe his warmth would bring that healthy, hearty color back to his cheeks. Sora didn’t look like _Sora_.

 

Sora winced when he felt the scorching hot hands rest gently against his face. He then relaxed when he felt Riku’s thumbs rub back and forth, wiping away any extra tears that escaped. He hated to admit it, but he practically cried away all of the relieving effects of the potion he had taken not five minutes ago, and he wanted another. He hated that. He despised himself for it. It was a craving that was never satisfied, as if he was constantly hungry and desperate for that release of endorphins that always knew how to make him feel good. After almost a week of sobriety, the intense need to drink another potion plagued his thoughts.

 

It was pathetic.

 

“Riku,” Sora started once he was confident he could speak without breaking down again, “this isn’t me.”

 

Riku closed his eyes and exhaled, slowly, through his nose. “I know,” he sorrowfully muttered as he opened his eyes again. He let go of Sora’s face to hold his shaky hand. His pulse was quick.

 

“To be honest, I want another,” Sora admitted. He bit his lip to hold back another sob. “It hurts. I tried to quit, and I was doing so good…today would have been a week, but I couldn’t do it.”

 

“You should have told me sooner…” Riku sighed, “You can’t shoulder this alone.”

 

“I couldn’t. I was too afraid.”

 

“Why? I wouldn’t be upset. I would have wanted to help you before you let yourself go on like this,” Riku frowned. “I want to help you, Sora. That’s what I’m here for. There are some things you can’t face alone. This is one of those times.”

 

Sora’s throat constricted again. “But you warned me time and time again about this. I literally made a promise to you that I wouldn’t get addicted, and I didn’t listen to a single word you said.”

 

Riku squeezed Sora’s hand. “Just because you broke your promise doesn’t mean that you’re dead to me. Listen, I really, genuinely care about you. I _love_ you, even with your faults. Yes, drug addiction is awful and I’m not trying to excuse anything about it because it’s life-ruining. But I’m not going to love you any less or act towards you differently just because you didn’t listen to me,” Riku smiled. “The Sora I know acts on his own no matter who tells him what. So, unfortunately, I had a feeling that this would happen. Not because I didn’t believe in you, but because I know you better than that. You said that yourself.”

 

Sora sat back on his haunches. He did tell Riku that, didn’t he? There were no words to describe the relief he felt. He thought about crying again, but he was tired. Of course, Riku was there for him. Why did he even doubt that for a single second? He told himself that after the first time he drank the potion, so he let his shame overtake him.

 

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Riku huffed as he pulled the both of them up from the ground. Sora held tightly onto Riku in an effort to keep himself from falling. Everything was spinning. He was still shaky. He wanted to climb back in bed and go to sleep again. “I’ll help you,” he added and pulled him into a tight hug.

 

It was the most reassuring hug he felt in his entire life. It was full of love, care, worry, and protection. Riku’s embrace was all he needed right now, he decided. So he returned the hug speechlessly and ended up crying into his chest anyway. He was sure time had stopped in this moment.

 

The two stood in silence again. Riku let Sora get it all out of his system.

 

Sora’s quick breaths calmed down once more. Riku spoke up. “It’s going to be hard, you know. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, because there is nothing sweet about it. Quitting up and out of the blue won’t help, as you saw,” Riku let Sora pull away from him. His skin started to get its normal color back, somewhat. Riku felt a wave of relief. “We’ll have to wean you off of it.”

 

“Oh?” Sora’s eyebrows raised, “That’s how you do it?”

 

“Mhm,” Riku nodded. “Otherwise _this_ ,” Riku gestured to Sora and the soiled toilet with one hand, “will happen again. It only gets worse the longer you go with the way you tried to do it.”

 

“So like, start off with my normal amount and just drink less each day?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Hm…” Sora hummed, “Is that how you did it?” He couldn’t help but ask. He wanted to know more about him and how he did it on his own. He watched as Riku gave that same pained expression as before. This whole situation probably hurt Riku, Sora thought, and now he felt even worse about it. It was obviously a rough topic, but to see someone else go through what he once did was probably a sore spot on Riku’s end.

 

“…yeah,” Riku muttered. “Except I didn’t have anyone to help me,” He added on. “That’s why I’m so adamant in helping you. I thought I couldn’t do it alone, but when I thought of you, it was enough to keep me going.”

 

Sora scratched the side of his cheek and felt a blush creep up to his cheeks. “Well, to be fair…” he started as he crossed his arms. “I thought about you, too. Right before the second time I drank a potion. But I still let it happen,” he frowned as he realized what he was saying. “Huh, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you! I really care about you a lot, and I just—“

 

“Hey,” Riku cut him off. “Stop, you’re just making yourself worry more than you need to be, right now. The fact that you even thought about me means you considered not doing it, even for a second. That’s enough for me.” Riku gently patted Sora’s shoulder. “Now, come on. Get into the shower. We’ll get you cleaned up and go back to bed considering you still look exhausted.”

 

Sora forgot about how tired he was and he couldn’t help but yawn. He still felt shaky, but he felt a million times better than he did just ten minutes earlier. “I guess so, huh.”

 

Addiction hurt.

 

But with Riku’s support, he felt confident more than ever. Addiction really was a two-way street. Thinking he had the mental strength to tough it out on his own was the wrong train of thought. The fact that he didn’t even think to seek out help was a mistake among the many others he made just these last few weeks.

 

Although he was ashamed that he let this happen in the first place and let Riku see him so broken at perhaps the lowest point in his life, he was still grateful. If it didn’t happen he probably would have given in and go on a binge, casting himself further down into the deep, dark hole. He probably would never get the resolve to kick his addiction.

 

But at least Riku was his light. He could never forget that. This wasn’t the first time Riku had saved him. That bright light of his always cast away the shadows in his wake; his resolve burning stronger than ever knowing that his best friend was suffering. Even though it would be rough trying to kick his addiction, he knew he would be okay. He was in capable hands.

 

Riku’s light was Sora’s everything.


End file.
